Postpartum Is A Trip

Postpartum hits us with a mix of physical recovery, hormone chaos, and emotional whiplash that no one fully prepares you for. We share what surprised us most, what helped us cope day to day, and how to give yourself grace while your body and brain recalibrate. 
• postpartum bleeding realities, including scares and when to ask your OB 
• must haves that make recovery easier, from disposable underwear to witch hazel and cooling pads 
• night sweats, body odor, and other hormone-driven changes that feel alarming but are often normal 
• rebuilding after birth with nutrient support, iron and B vitamins, and real-food strategies 
• hydration for breastfeeding and pumping, including electrolytes and practical routines 
• body image after birth, why “bouncing back” is not a standard, and how clothes fit differently 
• hair loss and the four-month shift, plus changes in milk feel and supply stability 
• postpartum rage and irritability, how it shows up, and why it isn’t a character flaw 
• permission to set your baby down safely for a few minutes when you’re overwhelmed 
• the value of supportive friends who can validate the hard parts and remind you it will pass 
If you need anything, please reach out. 

Transcript

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Welcome And Why Postpartum Shocks

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to another episode of Unapologetically Mom. Today we're just going to talk a little bit about postpartum and all of the fun little things that happen when you are postpartum that maybe nobody else really tells you about. So yeah. They're fun things? I don't know. I mean not fun things. We're gonna make them sound more fun, or I guess at least like you can commiserate or give yourself grace or know that you're not alone. That stuff. Because postpartum can be it's a trip. It's a trip. It's a nobody really prepares you for great. Nobody prepares you to have a baby and then bleed for another four weeks and hope that you stop bleeding eventually. Yeah. Well then I had retained placenta, so then it was like, oh gosh. Anyway, it was then I had to have a deal. Oh yeah, it was not great. It was miserable. It was really terrible. Yeah. Anyway, so the fun things that come plus pardon. So so sorry for you of those listening that are pregnant and get to look forward to this. But you know what you go. But I think having your eyes wide open and at least understanding again, then you're hopefully not like, oh my gosh, this is happening, and then like nervous or scared or like stressed about it happening because it's all

Bleeding Recovery And Hospital Must Haves

SPEAKER_00 1:18

of the things. No, yeah. Or um it's your boobs hurt all of the time. Mine burned so much. Like, oh my gosh. Nipple pain, burning from nursing. Um, mostly the the biggest thing that annoys me is when my son has a blowout and I get it on my clothes. Now I'm also stained yellow. Um no, I just I even this last baby, right? Like, obviously, so those of you who've been listening, Hollis Hollis is my fourth son. Um, he was born on Super Bowl Sunday and he's 13 weeks. And those first few weeks, like it's okay. Like I got out of the house, I did the things, I went to hockey, but I was like trying to be prepared, right? Like I had adult diapers along or whatever you use those first days after postpartum. Um, to get a stuff the hospital gives you because yeah, they're like they are the best, like the little under the reusable underwear or the disclosable underwear, those are wonderful. I also this time invested in some of the mom Frida um like cooling pads that are like cooling for like the perineal area, and those were magical. They have witch hazel in them, and I highly recommend witch hazel. Um, you can get like the witch hazel like tux pads, those were they are fantastic to have, especially like in the bathroom whenever you have to go. And then I carried a little biggie with me with very much. Actually, the hospital had like a smaller container, like it must have been like a trial size or something. Yep. I took that and then I would put more in that and had that in the diaper bag. So that was handy. Those things are just so good to

Body Odor Night Sweats Hormone Swings

SPEAKER_00 2:54

have along. Um, and actually this time it baby sounds funny, and I think they happen all of the times, but I notice that I smell all of the time. I can shower and I automatically smell again. And it's like a hormonal shift that happens postcardum so that baby can smell you and find you better. Um, but just know that like that's normal. Don't cover that up with Bath and Body Works. All that, and like I sweat. I was like at the night, oh my gosh, but the night sweats were like a real thing. And I would literally change in the middle of the night because I would just sweat so bad. Well, it was yeah. So it's kind of been a little bit warm outside and it's been a little bit warm in our bedroom where I'm sleeping. And last night I told my husband, I was like, Can we please turn the air conditioning on? He goes, It's not hot in here. And I was like, I am sweating, I have a sweaty baby on me. We are both sweating, this is not comfortable. And he's like, I think your hormones are a mess. And I was like, No shit. Like, duh, they're obviously a mess, but I'm sweating right now. Can we please fix that? And so bless his heart, he went and opened up the bedroom window and the bathroom window so that air could blow in. Well, if you live where we are, we're in North Dakota, like so windy. Yeah, there was a hurricane last night outside, essentially. So I got plenty of air, but that is also real. Like, there's nothing wrong with you. Your hormones are shifting and switching and changing. Um, and I would suggest that you try to start balancing and and supporting them now. Um, as I'm looking at it right now, I just started taking some grass-fed beef liver. She made me take it too. It was fine. They're in capsules. Stop being a weenie. Um, but it's freeze-dried raw liver. And Jenny was like, Well, what's the purpose? Why? Why are you taking that? And three of them. Um, but if you think about liver, it's got all of the nutrients in it. Like you just lost a ton of blood, like you just bled out, right? Having a baby. And so the liver in there is going to be really high in iron. It's gonna be really high in some of those B vitamins and other nutrients that you need as you're recovering from essentially a major medical event. And as natural as it is, like you lose a lot of things. And so trying to replace that outside of your multivitamin is really necessary. Um, so things like grass-fed

Rebuilding With Nutrients Hydration Real Food

SPEAKER_00 5:06

beef liver, come talk to me about it. Like, I'm back at work. I just told Jenny I'll do happily do more telehealth because that was really fun. I could bring Hollis with me. Um, but let's like start supporting our nervous system and our hormones with like real food. And I think you'll you'll feel better quicker. Um the other thing I like really loved more than I think I ever did in my life before was like ice water, like cold, cold water. Yeah. And I could drink that all day every day. And it was like, yeah, my body like really craved it. And I feel like again, to your point, I think you're basically dehydrated. Yes. All the time all of the time, especially if you are nursing or pumping. Yep. And so I think making sure I carried, I literally carried my water bottle around all of the time, and I had fill it all over the town with nice and yeah. Anyway, um, also find a good, find a good hydration drink. So something without a bunch of artificial garbage, no artificial colors. Um, I really like the LMNT. I have dynamic hydrate at the office. Um, and my Stanley comes with me every single place. Also, if you're one of those people like I am, just go buy a new water bottle if that's fun for you. I love water bottles. Like, I have an obsession. Yeah, I bought another one, and my husband was like, Really, you needed another water bottle? That can be like a great postpartum gift, actually, if you're looking for ideas and to give somebody a friend or whoever, like, give them a new water bottle. Everybody likes me. I make you shouldn't say that. I really enjoy new water bottles. I legit have an obsession and I feel like I pass it on to my my kids, but still it's LMNT, give it to them, and like nobody wants flowers, like they need something practical, something for their bottom, something for the like give them a chapstick and a new water bottle. You got a new best friend.

Body Image Reality After Birth

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Well, and I think um other things that I feel like kind of happened that I wasn't necessarily like prepared for is your tummy doesn't like go away right away. Like it's definitely like still I mean, I think a lot of women get frustrated that they still look like they're pregnant at like three months plus hardom. And I I think it very much still varies on the person, the body type, and how many kids you've had, but like you're not gonna, it's not typical to leave the hospital wearing clothes that you wore before pregnancy. Like it just isn't a thing that happens. And Instagram is lying. It doesn't happen as much as people think. There are people that I have had that that is a thing, which is good for them. But it isn't normal, it isn't like common as people like to think, especially Tanya said on social media. They make it sound like it's this like thing where you just like all of a sudden, oh man, like you just pop back to where you were before. Um, I'm only laughing because my middle son, if you know him, he's very blunt and he's um he's also very articulate for a five-year-old. And about three weeks after I had Hollis, he goes, Mom, when's your tummy gonna be flat again? And you know, I really wanted to pop his head off because I was also very frustrated with the fact that, like, yes, like I still looked somewhat pregnant. And of course, then my three-year-old at the time, who's now four, he goes, Well, she already had the baby. There's probably another one in there. And I was like, Oh my goodness, like one funny the things that like kids say. And then my eight-year-old chimes in and he goes, No, she's not. The baby's already here. I'm like, oh my goodness, like I should tape this for when they're older. But I was so frustrated and I was so offended by my five-year-old's comment that I was like, Tanya, forget it. Like, yes, you just had a baby. Even now, like three, three months postpartum, like it's still like genes fit differently, like things just fit differently. Um, and yes, I I I don't know. By kid number four, I've kind of gotten over it. Like things will get back to where they were eventually. Um so that was another thing

Hair Loss Milk Changes And Feeling Normal

SPEAKER_00 8:54

for me. The next big transition I feel like happens around like four months postpartum, where like you at least I did, I think a lot of women do, like you lose a lot of hair. Like all of my hair. I felt like I didn't actually lose all of my hair, just somehow I still had hair left. But somehow clumps, like clumps and clumps and clumps and clumps of hair. Yep. And again, that's another like common normal thing that happens with your hormone shift, your hormones shifting. At least for me, I also noticed around that same time, like I no longer had that like burning sensation when my milk came in anymore. Like it just I just knew it was there. I just didn't feel it come down like I did earlier on. And so that was nice. And then at least for me, like my milk supply seemed to stabilize a little bit more, and it was more consistent, at least for me, which I know that that's different for every single person, but that was how mine was, and I feel like that hormone shift I maybe felt a little bit more sane. I don't know. I probably cried less with the TV. I remember crying at commercials all of the time and like just sobbing, and it's like it wasn't even that emotional, but here I am crying over this commercial that happened. Well, and just to maybe give people some normalization, also, I never have felt let down. Like I don't I don't feel it at all. Um with Harrison, your first one? Nope. Really? Feel nothing. And so and always for people who don't, like I was always like, what's wrong? Like, do I not have enough? Like, what is it? Like, why don't I also feel this? Um, I don't, I didn't feel anything. Yeah, yes, like I would have some engorgement occasionally, but like for the most part, like I've never really had that. Um, and I still don't like Hollis Kenny nurse, and I was the only reason why I know he's there is because I'm holding happy, like, and so you don't feel anything? Nope. Wow, we're lucky. I definitely did. So, of course, that also causes some level of anxiety of oh my gosh, well, what's wrong? Like, do I is there not enough there? What's happening? Like, or like for me, like I guess I I didn't Yeah. That's awesome. So kind of envious. Either envious that you isn't happening because of the discomfort, but also for me, I was like, Yes, I can see right both sides. But anyway, yeah, so normal either way. Um I'm trying to think of other kind of crazy things that happen that you don't necessarily like think about other than lack of sleep.

Bleeding Scares Period Return And Anxiety

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Well, this time I thought I was getting my period like through four or five weeks in. Um, and I was like, you've got to be kidding me. This is a cruel joke, right? Like, I just had a baby, I just stopped bleeding, and now I'm bleeding again. Like, what? Um, and no, it was not my cycle. Like, there was just some hormonal shift that happened that caused a little bit of like postpartum bleeding. Um, I kind of I spoke to my OB about it when I went in for my six-week check, and I was like, if this is a cruel joke, I'm really sad because I did not want to have my cycle back already. I am exclusively breastfeeding. The last time I nursed, I didn't get my cycle until 10 months. Um, and this is six weeks. Like, I'm probably gonna go insane if I get a period right now. And he's like, nope, that's just normal. Like you'll probably notice it right now, and then it'll probably not happen again. Um, so don't, you know, don't worry about it. Cause of course then you think, okay, now I'm cycling again. Like, what am I gonna do for birth control? What am I gonna like is my milk supply gonna drop? Like what, you know, all these like things started going through my head. Um, and now I just I haven't had any bleeding since. So that was a little bit of a scare for me. I was like, oh no. Yeah, I was I had with my second I had stopped bleeding, and then probably like 10 days late 10 days later, I started bleeding again and like a lot, like a lot, a lot, a lot. And um anyway, so was that your return? I had retined to Santa, and it was like definitely not like, oh, I think I have my feeling, like it was like this is this is yeah, really not great. But with both of my girls, then I think I was like a year plus before I got my cycle back. That's great, yeah. That's on the and somebody who had fertility issues going into it, like then my cycle came back very regular for a while, and I was like annoyed because I had not really dealt with that before. And I was like, Well, this is crappy, but anyway, now I'm like no much older, and I'm like excited when my cycle comes every month, and I'm like, hey, that leaves my body's still functioning correctly. So, you know, because now both sides of the coin carry menopausal symptoms here. So that's a whole nother treat.

Postpartum Rage And The Emotional Whiplash

SPEAKER_00 13:57

I will say, like, we talked about this a little bit before, but like the rage that comes at the hormone shift. Yeah, like it's such a hard thing. I don't even know. It's so hard. My kids lost and they were like, What's wrong with you? We're not even yelling. Why are you yelling, man? Yeah, it's so hard. And I was like, I'm sorry, guys, like mom is just really irritated today. Like, I don't know what it was, but it's real, right? And I was like, I don't even know what to do right now. Like, I don't have an outlet for the irritation that I have right now. Um, and you know, I feel like give my husband some grace, but I don't think he quite understands the emotional shifts that happen. And I think they're there to be supportive and they are, you know, kind and whatever, but um it's not like a oh, just be happy. Like I you have no control. And I don't think that people understand like what that actually means, and that like pretending to be happy and joy, and like there's no reason, like, right? We all know you're grateful to have a baby, like we nobody's suggesting that you're not. I think it's just like the hormone changes are so crazy that you literally I also am experiencing that on like the other side of it now, and it's just like, oh my gosh, I just want to like punch you in the face. Like, I just need you to get out of my way. Yes, when I own, yeah. Anyway, so the hormone shift is real. I have to like really think sometimes when I talk to the girls, and I'm like, it's not their fault, like I can't pass this on to you. However, like my tone of voice certain times is yeah, so postpartum rage is a real thing too.

It’s Okay To Set Baby Down

SPEAKER_00 15:38

And also, it's okay to let your baby cry, right? Like, if you are in a state where, like, I mean, heck, last night my kids were in bed, it was fine, Hollis was bussing, and I I like had to just I was like, Hollis, I have to leave you on the couch right now, and I have to finish this task because otherwise I'm gonna lose my mind. Like, I had to finish the dish, putting the dishes away because otherwise I was gonna literally lose it. But he was crying and I was like, uh, it's it was his witching hour is like from that like 8:30 to 9. He just always wants to be held a nurse to go to sleep, and that's normally fine. But I was in the middle of a task and I was just so angry that he needed me up that moment, and I was like, Nope, I'm finishing the dishes. And he cried on the couch for you know, three, four, five minutes. And guess what? He is just fine. He settled himself down, he was looking around watching the wild game, crying with me because they lost. Like it was fine, right? But I think we we forget that like just because they cry and fuss, you know, yes, sure, respond to them and all the things, but you also can take a minute if you don't feel like your mental health is there right that moment. And sometimes walk away. Yeah, I remember literally when I had both of the girls and they were little, I was like, I just have to go to the bathroom and I just need to like I want to go by myself. Yes. And then I would put Emery in our little pillow thing on the bed, and I would like make sure Finley was, you know, safe and fine and all the things, and I would just be like, I need five minutes, like I just need five minutes, everyone will survive. Sometimes the three of us would cry together and whatever, but it is okay if your baby cries, even for a like, yeah, it it just it is what it is, and sometimes like also they're supposed to learn a little bit of self-soothing. Obviously, if they're starving, they're not gonna stop. But if sometimes if it's a thing that's just like, oh, I need a toot, and sometimes I'm moving around, it's their toot out, and then they're happy. And so I think just giving yourself some grace too, and having a friend or a family member or a cousin or whatever, whoever it is for you that you can talk to is always a good helpful thing.

Support Systems Grace And Safety Check

SPEAKER_00 17:53

And I was lucky enough to have some girlfriends who had kids that were a couple of years older than mine, and so and like that parent similarly to me, and so it was nice to have like them to like bounce ideas off of you or like this is happening, and they would reassure me that it was fine or it happened with their kid or whatever. And so it is nice to have some people that you can chat with just to also when you're kind of in the middle of losing your mind, that can kind of remind you that we're doing good, you're doing okay, everything will be fine, you'll get there, but also understand, like, yes, it is nice to be like, you know, Jay, that does suck. Yeah, like I'm so sorry that you're going through that. That is awful, but it will get better. Like, because sometimes it's I mean, I feel like husbands a lot of times want to make it better, where I'm like, I don't need you to make it better. I just need to be like, yes, Jenny, like that is not fun. Like, I'm I'm sorry that's happening. And thank you. And that makes me feel better just in and of itself. And also this two shall pass, right? Like, this is a moment in time you'll look back and go, Oh my gosh, I can't believe I was surviving. I uh and like I look at the girl stuff now, right? And like they're gonna be in they're finishing kindergarten and first grade right now, and I just like we they love looking at pictures and videos from when they were young, and I would go back there in a heartbeat. Like in the moment, it's like, oh my gosh, this is really hard. But and it's not comforting, and I get it when you're going through it to hear that, but it unfortunately, unfortunately, is short and the season will pass and you'll move on. And the really cool thing about motherhood is like you don't get to go back, like it's always moving forward. And I I think now I look at it and like I that's it's sad. And I would like again, I would go back in a heartbeat and redo it if I could, and I don't know that I would change much, but I would redo it. Yeah, yeah, and I'm and I'm in it, and I every day like I look at Hollis, it was a couple days ago, I was like, holy crap, you're not a baby anymore. Like you went from newborn to three-month-old, and I don't know what happened. Like that one really didn't go through really quickly, and now I have this large three-month-old laying on my lap. And um, but this too shall pass, and just try to remind yourself that yes, in the moment, like let yourself feel all the feels, but afterwards, like I think you'll just give yourself some grace. Everybody, I think, goes through it, and we don't talk about the hard stuff, we talk about all the fun and like rainbow, sunshine, butterfly stuff, but just know that everybody also has like the dark, stormy days, and that's normal. And if it ever gets to the point where you feel like harming yourself or others, like just reach out to someone, put your baby down, talk to your partner, talk to someone, but um get get the help that you need and don't feel ashamed if your emotions and your mood get the best of you because a lot of the time it's out of your control. Yeah. Um, and it it will get better just in the moment though. Reach out if you need yeah. Hormones can be not fun to deal with. But if you need anything, please reach out. Otherwise, we will catch you in our next episode.