Winter Blues, Brighter Days

We talk candidly about seasonal sadness and how short days, cold temps, and holiday stress can drain energy and mood. We share practical tools—light therapy, short workouts, smart supplements, and real support—to help you feel steadier through winter.

• why darkness and routine changes trigger low mood
• red light therapy benefits and device quality basics
• full spectrum “SAD” lights for morning wakefulness
• simple, short movement that boosts serotonin and dopamine
• start-now habit stacking to build momentum before January
• magnesium glycinate and 5‑HTP as supportive options
• feeling emotions, naming triggers, and reflecting on root causes
• counseling, EMDR, and tapping to process grief and trauma
• modeling mental health care for kids and breaking patterns

If this episode spoke to you, please follow the podcast and leave a quick review. It helps other moms like you find our community and feel supported too
And if you have a friend who could use a little encouragement, share this episode with her

Transcript

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Welcome And Purpose

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Hello and welcome to Unapologetically Mom, the podcast for moms of all stages. I am Dr. Jenny. Here is my co-host Dr. Tonka. We will be sharing tips and tricks and unfiltered stories. That will inspire, normalize, and educate moms during every stage of motherhood. Thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy this episode. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Unapologetically Mom Podcast.

Naming The Winter Blues

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Today we are going to be discussing um kind of like the winter blues, right? The seasonal effective um disorder that happens this time of the year. As we're recording this podcast, it is early December and it is like five degrees outside. Um right, the darkness I think personally upsets me or bothers me the very most because now it's I feel like dark a lot as we're entering these what three weeks until the December 22nd before it starts to slowly creep back up to more daylight, but very challenging for a lot of people. And so we just really want to talk about and bring the light too, right? It is common, I would say, even probably fairly normal when we live this far north and get into like the winter with all the stress that the season of the holidays also bring along. Yeah, and when we decided to talk about this topic, it was more one, let's kind of normalize the fact that you're probably not the only one who feels sad around this time of the year. Is it and who knows what's causing it, right? And we'll dive a little bit into that and try to figure out the root cause of why you're feeling the way you're feeling. But also just give you some peace of mind and say you're not the only one, you're not alone, you're not on an island by yourself, and there's a lot of other people who also feel this way. And so don't think that this is you being wrong or broken or like it's a it's a problem for you.

Normalizing Seasonal Sadness

SPEAKER_00 2:11

The other thing that we wanted to talk about is trying to get to the root cause of maybe why we're sad this time of the year, to give us some tools, tips, and tricks to kind of get out of the funk, if you will, um, which I think will be helpful as we kind of struggle through the next one, three weeks before Christmas, which I feel like Christmas always gives everybody a new hope and light and just feels fun and exciting with kids and families and travels and and all of those things. And then also um just to give us some other ideas of ways that we can kind of tap into some of the natural, easy, kind of free, cheap and easy things that we can do at home instead of maybe running to the doctor if it's not necessary at this time. Right, and then get sick. Um, yeah, yeah, I think this time of the year for me, anyways, is for sure the darkness. I don't think I really even mind winter all of that much. I think it's literally just how dark it is in the morning and at

Red Light Therapy Benefits

SPEAKER_00 3:17

night. So my first thing, and then this isn't free or necessarily even cheap, but last year I invested in a red light to have at home. Um, and I mostly got it first to like help like boost collagen in my face and whatever. But actually, one of the main things I noticed was the energy that I had after like 3 p.m. and not driving home, being like, oh my gosh, like this is so miserable that it's like already dark outside and it's 4 45 or whatever. Yep. And I don't think I really made that connection until I've had several people last year that were asking me, like, oh, I heard you got a red light. Like, can you tell me what have you noticed? And I was like, well, truthfully, I think one of the main things I've noticed is just like my attitude and mood towards the end of the day has improved drastically. And I I really do think that that is one of the benefits of the red light. And at that point, when I first got it, I was using it probably like four times a week. And I definitely am not on that cadence anymore. It's probably more like twice a week. Um, and so I guess I am kind of curious now that I've changed the cadence of how I'm doing it, what that will like look like. But I mean, I use mine for like a six or 12 minutes. It's not like it's forever, and just to have that type of change. Now I have like the loon box. It's like I spent a decent amount of money on mine. I know there are cheaper versions on like Amazon or Costco. Um, maybe even SAM's Club carries different versions. Um, I think doing some research and like reading reviews and stuff to see what other people are saying about that specific device, because I know the wavelengths do matter. Yeah, so not only are we talking about the wavelengths in the red light, because it's not just like putting red film over light, right? Like it's it's more than that. It's about the wavelengths, it's about the penetration into the skin, and it's about the um the density of the bulbs in the device that you have. And so how we get cheaper devices is we essentially decrease the amount of bulbs that we have in a certain amount of area. So the more bulbs you have in a certain area, the the higher the concentration, the more likely it is that you're gonna get benefit from a shorter amount of time. Um, and I I know we're not talking free, cheap, and easy, but we're we're talking pretty like easy to sit in front of the red light. Like you can do other things. You can it's not like you have to like stop everything and set aside 30 minutes to like leave your house. Like, this is something you could set on your desk, you could set it in your bathroom, you could I like double whammy it and I do it when I do my bath. Like I have it sitting on the toilet while I'm taking my absence all baths, and I'm like perfect. It goes off at 12 minutes, you know, and then I maybe will sit in the bath for a little bit longer. But I try to compound them together. So it's like I in 30 minutes I did my face mask, I did my red light, like I did all these things. Just kidding, don't do a face mask if we're doing the red light because it won't work as good. But anyway, my point being, I try to like get as many things in in once as one in one fellow swoop. If you are a mom, you totally understand that. Well, and I think you know, we've talked about so many times like how to maximize our time during the day and maximize the amount of things that we can do that have a positive effect on our on our health and our and our wellness. And and red light is pretty easy to to tack on and

Full Spectrum “SAD” Lights

SPEAKER_00 6:45

add to. And the other one that I'll also mention in my office we call them sad lights, but they're essentially full spectrum light bulbs that come in box form potentially that you can set on your desk and sit in front of in the morning. And it acts kind of like the sun because it's blue, it's full spectrum light, and it actually decreases melatonin and raises cortisol just a little bit. So you get that like awake feeling. Um, and those are actually clinically studied and proven to reduce depression, so seasonal effective disorder in the winter. And those I would say for the most part are pretty inexpensive. You can get them on Amazon. The other suggestion that I have for people is actually to put the light bulbs themselves in your bathroom. So when you're getting ready in the morning, when you're um, you know, brushing your teeth and doing your hair and your makeup, the the lights in your bathroom are actually like shining on you and you're getting that full spectrum light. Um, so I think that can be really helpful. Um, you can also substitute the sun, of course, for this, but in this part of the world, we have shit. Yeah, everybody has to go to Arizona or Florida. We might not be actually seeing the sun on a daily basis here, especially if it's cloudy. And so I think that's part of the problem, as well as the darkness, is that we just don't have that same sunlight and exposure that we've uh been experiencing for you know, ever. Yeah.

Movement As Mood Medicine

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yeah. The other, I mean, obviously I something a broken record, um, but I'm a big fan of movement and right, any, I mean, it's been researched heavily that movement, activity, moving your body in any form that brings you any sort of joy is great for um decreasing depression and anxiety and helping just in general with overall like improving your mood. Um, and I I do really say, especially this time of the year when it is dark and it is cold, and I don't want to go out to go to the gym or whatever the case might be, because truthfully, one of my least favorite things in the entire world is putting on like sweatpants and a sweatshirt when you're sweaty, like after you work out. Like, I just like can't, it's it's not my favorite thing at all. Um, and so sometimes finding something like online to do at home, right? Whether it's like stretching, even like yoga, there's at-home Pilates videos, there's strength videos, which obviously I'm a big fan of. Um, if you have a treadmill, going for a walk on the treadmill or a bike or whatever it might be, but finding something that you do enjoy that is something that you actually like don't completely dread doing, um, is wonderful and has so many great effects for mood and um your brain, just like helping your brain and redu or it releases serotonin and dopamine all the copy feeling, the happy feelings that you get after your after you move your body a bit. And I think the last thing I had read was like you have to at least 10 minutes to start to get some of those effects, um, less if it's a more high-intensity workout, but you have to get your body moving and get the blood flow up to your brain enough to release those, those levels. So you need to invest a little bit of time, but it's not like it's gonna take over your entire day. And so even if it's one of those things where, hey, in the morning, I'm gonna get up whatever, 15 minutes earlier than I usually do and get a quick workout in. Or can you go for a walk if you work in like a big building? Can you walk around the building? Can you bundle up and go outside and get a short walk in during lunch or whatever it might be? And if you're in Fargo, like there's so many great places now with the new Fargo Parks building, Restead, veterans, they all have walking tracks, which is super wonderful. Family wellness if you belong to a gym, like there are places around now that are making it easier. Go to the mall. Yeah, I was go target the mall open just 634. Just go walk around. Yep. Um, but again, walking is very much slow-free, cheap, and easy. And so if that's something that you're like, I just and really just start. Like, it doesn't need to be a New Year's resolution. It doesn't need to be a thing where I'm waiting until January 1. Start today. Like just start small. Start moving your body now so that in January you actually are gaining momentum with your habits versus like, oh, I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting. Because let's be honest, then we're not really creating a better habit. If you really want to change your habits, you start now because we want to prevent hopefully having some of these different, like sad emotional things happen as the winter goes. Start now. Five minutes, ten minutes, like just something. Something just to get your body moving, I think is a great thing.

Start Now, Start Small

SPEAKER_00 11:29

And then also, one of the things that Dr. Jenny forgot to mention is that she's got a really great um fitness platform called Empower Mama's Fitness. And anyway, you can find her on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. Yeah, I have a YouTube channel, and so they're all free there. Yeah. And I try to keep them five to ten minutes. And so, I mean, do a couple of her videos and you can do you can sign up for her workouts, you can do them at home. Um, and she knows what she's doing. And so it's like just finding someone that you trust. And I mean, if you're already listening to our podcast, you already know that we're trying to tell you all of the good nuggets so that you don't have to find them on TikTok. So true though. And and like we actually typically know what we're talking about, and so like go look at one of her videos, do some strength training, and and just feel better in general before the symptoms of sadness start to set in. Um, but I also wanted to mention, you know, trying to figure out well, first, some supplementation that I think can be really helpful that I often will suggest for patients. Um, one of them is so easy and simple,

Free Fitness Resources At Home

SPEAKER_00 12:41

and we never we kind of gloss over it because it's like, oh, it's just magnesium. Um, but taking magnesium three times a day can actually help reduce anxiety and depression as much as an antidepressant, which sounds insane. My there's a lot of forms of magnesium. So what's what form or what forms do you recommend? Yeah, so one of the more expensive versions called magnesium glycinate is the one that was studied. So we're not looking at oxide, we're not looking at magnesium citrate, we're not looking at magnesium malate. Those are some cheaper forms that have a little bit more of an effect on the gut. Um, but magnesium glycinate was actually studied for anxiety and depression, and taking it three times a day was actually really, really helpful and outperformed some low dose antidepressants. Um, and you know, if you need an antidepressant, by all means go ahead. However, my caveat to that is one, we don't even know that antidepressants are are truly fixing the problem. Um we it's a theory, right? And so if someone had said you have an SSRI deficiency, they're wrong. Um, you don't. You have a brain chemical, probably deficiency or in insufficiency or imbalance due to something, right? And and then I want to bring up another supplement called 5 HTP, so 5 hydroxytryptophan. Um, and that one actually helps your body make more serotonin. So not only can we get that at bone, yeah, we're actually like making more serotonin. And that serotonin sits in between our cells and sits on these little receptors that help make us happy. And so if we're looking at going on an SSRI, but we're not really sure that that's the route we need to go, or maybe we don't have a provider or we don't want to go into an office, like we can try 5 HTP, it's over the counter. Um, I mean, surely let us know if you have questions,

Supplements For Mood Support

SPEAKER_00 14:28

but it's something that you can try at least that's pretty safe. And you don't have to worry about a ton of side effects or trying to get off of it, which can be really difficult with antidepressants. They can come with a whole host of side effects, side effects, sexual side effects, mood side effects. I mean, the list is endless, right? Um, and I have a I've never taken one, but I have a lot of patients who say, I just don't feel anything anymore. And I mean, we're human, like we should be feeling things. Yeah. Um, and so yeah, I mean, it sucks to feel sad and it sucks to feel anxious and depressed, but then we also can feel happy and joy. And that balance between those emotions, I think, is also really important because I don't know about you guys, but I don't always want to be happy. Like that's exhausting. Like I have friends that are always happy, and I'm like, that looks terribly exhausting. Yeah, like there is a time to be sad and anxious or depressed or like have different emotions than just happy all of the time because that's not real. Um, and so I want you guys to feel things, um, even though sometimes it's hard. Yeah. Well, I think so. Bringing us to the next one, I think feeling things is also how we can start to like figure out what's causing us in general to have the have the feeling of depression or anxiety or whatnot. And so if you're looking at something more, then it's like, oh, I'm really sad in the winter, or I feel like I get more depressed, part like significantly reflecting why, why, what, what is causing this? Is it Tanya's point earlier? Is it overwhelmed? Are you too stressed? Are you like, I don't know, like why is it happening? Are you sad at your dog? Are you unhappy with I I mean, how you look or feel? Like what what what is making you and trying to address like that part? And like, what can I do to like actually fix or help fix the contributing factors? And this time of the year often brings up a lot of emotions, like we talked about, like maybe you've lost a loved one, or maybe you're mourning the like the death of a relationship. Like, not that someone died, but like that you don't have a relationship with your parents or your sisters or your you know brothers or whatever it is. Um or that something can be tricky, yeah, because this is the time where everybody's supposed to be happy and lovey and have friends and do all these fun things together. And if you don't have that, that surely can bring about somebody who was like, they're trying to have a baby, and she's like, this time of the year is always really hard because you don't realize how many people post, like you know, expecting announcements or pregnancy announcements this time of the year. And I was like, and then last night I literally had four people on Facebook who posted about it. And I was like, I yeah, like that, I mean, right? Like, you know, kicking me and Marty down kind of thing, which that's hard. And I've been there, so I told I I get that, but I yeah, there's just a lot of emotions that can come up at this time of the year for whatever the case is, and just knowing that working through those emotions and and whether it's talking with a friend or a family member or actually seeking professional counseling should be on the top of your list, right? Like, I still think we live in a very closed off society that doesn't like to talk about mental health. They don't, we don't like to talk about depression and anxiety because we think of it as this like big, bad, terrible thing. But if you can find someone to work with and talk with and talk through some of those, those things, whether it's PTSD or anxiety or depression or you know, past childhood trauma, whatever it is that come up every year, right? Obviously, this isn't probably something that's brand new for you. Yeah, but also it's okay. Like I would rather you go get help and go talk to someone professionally than suffer through the next three months being sad and uh having a miserable Christmas. Right. And then how that affects your family and whatnot. And and then I think

Feel Your Feelings And Reflect

SPEAKER_00 18:39

again, like Tanya mentioned, next year could be worse. Like at some point, you just have to care about yourself enough to want to make the effort to get better. And I remember when I started doing counseling after my dad died, I told my mom that I was seeing a therapist, and she's like, Well, why? For what? I'm like, this is why people don't go, right? Because now you have your parents shaming you, and you know, the one thing you want to say is, well, it's because of you. Actually, mom, it's because my childhood. Um, which I I can't complain. I had a pretty reasonable childhood. I think we all went through things, we were all grazed in the 90s or close, right? But I think, I mean, I've done therapy a couple of times in my life, and I maybe I'm just more open about it because it doesn't bother me. Like if people want to judge me because I'm going to see somebody so that I feel better. But I think that also in our line of work, when you're a service industry, like it's you absorb other people's energy too. And as a mom and as a household leader, like Lee, you also are doing the same thing, right? Like you're absorbing the energy from your kids' day, from the pressure of sports and sports moms and all those relationships. And so I think all of us, we deserve to have somebody be like, hey, I am here to support you. And whether, again, like Tanya mentioned, is that a friend or a family member or even a coworker or yes, a therapist, but having somebody not just to listen to you, quote unquote, like complain, but like, how do you have get your venting out, but then also like pushing you to think outside the box or like make that step or that transition to actually being like, okay, I want to like make this change or to do this step to get to a better place? And I'm lucky I have Tanya and I have another girlfriend who are really great at being like, okay, I'll let you like complain and do your venting, but then okay, let's rechange how your brain is going about it instead of going down the hole of negativity. Let's spiral out of it and like what can we do to make those next steps to make the day better? What is something you can do to make the your life less overwhelming? Like, what are those steps looking

Counseling, Stigma, And Support

SPEAKER_00 21:03

like instead of constantly being like, oh my gosh, I'm always just really upset and sad at this time of the year. So I have a period, really. Right. Any any time of the year. I have a really good friend. Her name is Stephanie. Um, we should have her on the podcast because she's a she's a social worker therapist. And just having like someone like that in my back pocket is so fun because I can say, okay, am I being crazy or is this real? And like having her kind of talk me off the ledge or give me some tips and tricks of you know, ways to reframe, like you said, reframe your thinking or to think about really cool um mental health interventions like EMDR or tapping, like um like EFT and things like that to help release emotion. Um and if you haven't read the book, uh, Jenny, for forgive me if I can't remember the name, it's the body keeps score or the body. Oh, sure. So there's a book and it's called The Body Keeps Score or something to that effect. But it's all about how our body remembers emotions and trauma and incidences that we don't get rid of. And so getting back to that root cause thing is is this something that's been going on for a long time that we're not gonna be able to out antidepressant? We're not gonna be able to out-exercise, we're not gonna be able to, and we actually need to get those emotions and that deep down internal body remembrance of the trauma, the problem, the incident, whatever it is, we have to get that out so that we can truly heal. Um, and I think that's something that is worth your time and effort, and you're worth it. Like you're you're worth getting to the bottom of that and getting rid of that and no longer carrying what doesn't serve you anymore. Right. So, anyway, that's my TED talk for the day. Uh the point being, like we care. We want people, we want you to all feel happy and have emotions as you go through the holiday season. Because we don't want to pass, I mean, truthfully, like I don't want to pass some of my yucky stuff on to my kids. Like addressing it for yourself is also beneficial for your family. Yeah, that's a whole like podcast of all generational trauma. We can wrap it up later. Anyway, um, have a great rest of your day. Thanks so much for spending a little time with us today. If this episode spoke to you, please follow the podcast and leave a quick review. It helps other moms like you find our community and feel supported too. And if you have a friend who could use a little encouragement, share this episode with her. Thanks for listening, and remember, you're doing an amazing job.